The essence of relationships is communication.

After reading this chapter it is clear to me that the essence of relationships is communication; and yet, even between people who care deeply for each other, communication sometimes becomes blocked. We cannot put our feelings into words. Our partner speaks but we do not hear. We stare helplessly across an abyss of silence, or in frustration we hurl attacks that drive us further apart. In the enthusiasm of the initial courtship, a person who generally has a poor ability to listen may be motivated to change this in order to attract the partner, but later returns to his or her habitual ways. So at the start of a relationship it may not be recognized that important communication skills, such as the willingness and ability to ask appropriate questions and to listen effectively, are not part of the person’s normal behavior. I personally have been in a relationship for about three years and communication has always been an important element of our relationship. In the beginning it was exceptionally difficult for my boyfriend to open up to me but he always enjoyed listening to me. As time progressed, he has been able to talk about particular things or topics that might be bothersome. I remember how frustrated I would get when I would spend an hour pouring out my heart to him and he would just sit there and smile. I realized however, that men and women are completely dissimilar when communicating. For example, I “m willing to initiate conversation, opposed to my boyfriend who often let’s certain arguments linger before even talking about them. After reading the chapter, I also realized the importance of nonverbal communication. For example, I enjoy when my boyfriend holds my hand or just glances over with a smile because it clearly conveys to me affection and closeness. In conclusion, in intimate relationships offer solace, nurturing, support and happiness and fun, but are also sometimes the origin of distress, frustration…

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